WHO’S THE REAL RIZZ KING? AN AI BOT? A DATING EXPERT? OR YOU?

We teamed up with Benny Hart, a dating coach with a degree in psychology who’s helped thousands of guys master the modern dating game through confidence and authentic conversation. Then we threw him into a flirting face-off against an AI chatbot and an average young guy from Louisiana.

Each contestant wrote six flirty messages, from the first DM slide to the “let’s make it official” text, and 1,000 US women, aged 18-30, ranked them in a blind test to see who truly has the most rizz. 

AI crushed the DM slide, the dating expert owned the date invite, and the young guy won hearts. But the overall tally over 6 texts? Benny took the top spot with 65%, AI followed close behind with 60%, and the young guy scored 48% overall.  

It turns out flirting success isn’t about having the slickest line. It’s about finding the right mix of creativity, confidence, and connection. 

The DM Slide: AI Passes the Vibe Check 

AI out-flirted the humans when it came to sliding into DMs. One in four people (25%) picked the AI’s opener as their favorite, saying it felt creative, curious, and chill—not try-hard. Want to know what that line was?

Still, 29% of the women surveyed said none of the messages impressed them, proving that personality still matters more than polish. “AI will out-rizz most guys online,” says Benny. “Don’t try to beat it, use it. But remember—AI can’t back it up in real life. Only you can.” 

The Date Invite: Confidence Gets the Call-Back 

When it’s time to stop chatting and actually make a move, confidence wins every time. Benny’s message, “Are you free Friday or Saturday after 7? There’s a new spot that I know you’d like. Let me know and I’ll make it happen. :)”, crushed this round with 43% of votes.  

“Too much time in the pen-pal zone kills the vibe,” Benny says. “If you like her, set the date. If she’s not into it, let her go.” 

So, if you’ve been texting for days and still haven’t asked her out—this is your sign. Send the invite! 

The Relationship Stage: Heart Over Game 

Once things get serious, the game changes. The line that won the survey recipients over? “It’s been sweet having you as this girl that’s my friend, and I don’t want anyone else to take your place. Will you be my girlfriend?” This was written by the young guy who came out on top at 26%.  

“The data proves it—when things get serious, sincerity beats swagger,” adds Benny. Basically: once your crush is vibing with you, being real matters more than being clever.

What Makes a Flirty Message Work 

The best flirty messages don’t try too hard. They mix humor, honesty, and confidence in a way that feels natural. 

The survey results reveal what works:  

• Playful humor (51%) 

• Genuine compliments (33%) 

• Confidence (31%) 

• Personalized details (29%) 

• Emotional warmth (19%) 

Benny’s advice? “In a world where everything’s done at your fingertips, those who win are the ones who put in real effort, stay direct, and back it with action. The dating space is crowded with pen pals, endless openers, and sweet talkers. That noise doesn’t matter. What matters is action.” 

What Instantly Kills the Vibe 

Gen Z’s biggest icks? Cringe, cockiness, and copy-paste pickup lines. 

Top vibe killers according to our survey: 

• Sexual or explicit messages (44%) 

• Negging or backhanded compliments (35%) 

• Dry replies (30%) 

• Bragging (27%) 

• Cliché lines (18%)  

As Benny puts it: “Because of all the online noise, trying too hard is a turn-off. Less is more. Do what most guys won’t: be direct, be curious, but don’t smother them with effort. And stop overthinking every move. 

The Perfect Flirt Formula 

The overall MVP? The dating expert (65%), followed by AI (60%) and the young guy (48%).   

Benny’s advice to success IRL? Keep it simple. “Guys overcomplicate this,” he says. “There are really just a couple of things you need to get right.” 

1. Be playful. “If you come in stiff or boring, she’s done. This is not an interview. Boring kills attraction faster than anything. You don’t have to be a clown, but you do have to bring some fun energy. That’s what gets her curious and relaxed.” 

2. Decide. “Once you’ve got a little back-and-forth, stop dragging it out. Make a plan. Most guys sit in the pen-pal zone texting for weeks, and it kills the vibe. If you like her, set the date. If she’s not into it, then let her go.” 

3. Be bold. “Do things other guys aren’t doing because they’re not bold enough to approach, ask, or act on it. One of the worst things you can be is too predictable in the early stages. Get courageous and step up boldly.” 

As Benny explains, “Dating has changed. For years, attraction came from body language, eye contact, and tone. Now, a lot of it is digital, which means the little things: curiosity, timing, subtle vulnerability have to come through in text.”  

At the end of the day, our experiment proved what every great flirt already knows: there’s no single secret to having game. AI might have the lines, Benny’s got the confidence, and the young guy brought heart—but the real win is combining all three. A little curiosity, a little boldness, and a lot of authenticity. Because whether you’re sliding into DMs or sealing the deal in person, the best move is always showing up as yourself (and smelling fresh while you do it). 

What to see how much rizz you have? Take our Rizz quiz to find out.